The Easy Way Out is a Dead End

“We have many reasons to hope for great happiness, but . . . we have to earn it. And that's something you can't achieve by taking the easy way out. Earning happiness means doing good and working, not speculating and being lazy. Laziness may look inviting, but only work gives you true satisfaction.” Anne Frank, July 6, 1944

As we all know and can attest to, not many things in life are handed to us on a silver platter. All of the wonderful things in life come to be and continue to exist because we have worked hard for them. Relationships take effort. Becoming successful in ones career takes effort. Learning new skills, developing talents, and pursuing passions takes effort. Committing ourselves to a faith, whatever it may be, takes effort. A lack of effort typically results in an extinction of these things. In order to obtain and maintain anything we desire in life, we must make sacrifices. We must prioritize the thing we desire, dedicate time to pursue it, and give up whatever prevents us from achieving our goals. We must willing compromise for the sake of what’s to come. 

I wonder why, despite our knowledge of this, the temptation to find the easy way out is so present in our lives. We all seem to want a magic solution to eliminate effort. I believe there are many contributing factors to this in our present society. For one, the advancement of technology has planted in our minds the need for immediate gratification. We need to have what we want right now. We are able to communicate across the world with a single mouse click. We have the internet- a world of information- at our fingertips. The idea of waiting in our society is such a burden. I’m not complaining... I love technology and I think the benefits are numerous. But I do hate that we seem to no longer appreciate what we are able to achieve when we devote our time to the things we desire. We seem to think that the immediate nature of the availability of information, entertainment, and resources should permeate into every aspect of our lives- including our health. Unfortunately, this can only serve as a hinderance to reaching our full health potential. I also believe that a sense of entitlement has creeped its way into our nation. We seem to believe that we should all be given what we want. Not only should it be given to us immediately, but it better be what we ordered. We should never have to do anything we don’t want to do and when it is what we want to do, we shouldn’t have to lift a finger. Find someone else to do it for you. Why put forth effort  when there is something or someone else available to do the work instead? When there is an easy way out available (whether it works or not) why not take it? It’s there. It’s easy. I’m going to relate this to our physical health, but if you think about it, the temptation is there to apply this to all areas of our life. I’ve come to realize, although the easy way out may make certain legs of your journey easier for the time being, it robs you of the joy and satisfaction of success and removes the desire and motivation for future endeavors. 

You can probably guess where I’m going with all of this, given the nature of my blog. It’s plastered all over magazines, billboards, TV commercials... “take this pill and burn more calories to lose weight”, “eat our food to lose weight without doing a thing!”, “have this surgery to look skinnier, younger, and more beautiful”. Why are we willing to work so hard to advance our career, but not to feed and properly care for our bodies in a healthy way? Isn’t it interesting that despite the growing number of diets, weight loss pills, and elective surgeries out there, the rate of obesity, disordered eating patterns, and other related medical complications are on the rise? Clearly, the easy way out isn’t working. Until it does, I will continue to advocate for healthy living- eating in moderation (not in deficiency or excess), ensuring adequate intake of the nutrients we need, physical activity in the correct proportion of duration and intensity, relationships that build us up and spur us on to good deeds, and devoting our lives to a cause that gives us something worth living for. And the truth of it is- this takes work. It’s not a pill that cures all of our ills. Living a healthy and purposeful life requires effort on our part, but this effort leads to satisfaction, enjoyment, a sense of achievement, and the peace of knowing that you have taken full advantage of the life you’ve been given. There’s no pill that can provide you with all of that.

Mindful Preparation for Mindless Eating

An Interesting Read on Mindless Eating

We all do it. There’s a bowl of M&M’s sitting on the counter. You walk by and eat a few. Then walk by again, and think “a few more won’t hurt me”. Then think the same thing the next several times. The next thing you know, you aren’t thinking about it anymore. It’s an automatic reflex to reach up and grab the candy. By the end of the day, you’ve consumed the equivalent of a king-sized bag of M&M’s without even meaning to! 

Admit it. No matter how hard we try to “eat healthy”, “cut back”, or “watch what we eat”, old habits are hard to break. Often, we are putting more in our bodies than we intend to, simply because our minds play tricks on us! If you have a chance, I would really encourage you to read the article I’ve attached to this blog post. It’s a little lengthy, but just read what you have time to read. 

In case you don’t want to read the article, I’ll touch on a few key points. First off, why do we overeat? I think we can all say there has been at least one point in our lives where we knew we were full, yet we continued to put food into our bodies. I did this just last night! A study conducted by the author of this article found that 12% over-eat because of emotions- they had a terrible day, were feeling down, or were bored. Another 51% over-ate because they were really hungry. The percentage of people who over-ate because the food was spectacular was 37%. Another study conducted by this author found that in a group of individuals who had dinner within 20 minutes of arriving at a movie theatre, the subjects given a larger popcorn bucket ate 34% more popcorn then those given a smaller bucket... and the popcorn was stale! If the popcorn wasn’t stale, the subjects ate 45% more. So these individuals, when given stale popcorn after eating a dinner meal, STILL ate more simply because they were given more. If the food is there, we will eat it! Even if the food isn’t great, and even if we aren’t hungry. The mere presence of food compels us to eat. Just like at the dinner table. Another study found that if serving dishes are left on the table where everyone is eating, women will eat 10% more and men will eat 29% more than if the food isn't left on the table. 

Another interesting focus of this article is on the “health halo” effect. The author interviewed individuals leaving a McDonald’s and a Subway in the mall to see what they ate (and how may calories they consumed) and how many calories they believed they consumed. Those who ate at McDonald’s underestimated their caloric intake by 19%, and those who ate at Subway underestimated by 27%. We tend to underestimate how many calories we are consuming simply because of marketing techniques. We believe we are eating something “healthy”, so we allow ourselves to eat more of it. This leads us to consuming just as many calories, if not more, than if we ate the “unhealthy” food choice. 

So what can we do? The tips the article suggests to help us counteract our mindless eating include: using smaller plates/bowls at home, leaving serving dishes on the counter- away from the dinner table, packaging things in smaller containers, and if you buy in bulk- moving the foods into smaller, individual portioned baggies or Tupperware. If you eat the first thing you see, make sure the visible food in your pantry is food that will benefit your body. We may believe we have sufficient will power to choose foods that are healthy for our body rather than the junk we love to indulge in, but we don’t. Find a balance. If you try to completely restrict the foods you love from your diet, you will most likely fail and then overindulge to compensate for your restriction. Change your mindset. You’re not restricting these foods. You’re just tricking your mind to eat more of the foods that are good for you, or to eat less of the foods that have no nutritional benefit. Eat when you are hungry. Stop when you are full. Don’t leave food or snacks out in plain sight. Put them behind closed doors so that you will have to make a conscious effort to go eat them. And when you do make this effort, if healthier foods are visible to you, you may choose these foods over the “junk” foods. We need to mindfully prepare for our mindless eating habits. It’s not dieting, it’s strategic preparation. 

Change Yourself, Change the World

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” 

-Leo Tolstoy

When you think of making a difference in the world, what do you see yourself doing? What type of person do you need to be to accomplish this? If you attempted to change the world right now, what would hold you back? It’s important to think about the things that hold us back in order for us to push them aside. I realize I may sound like I am contradicting myself from my previous posts. I know I say all the time that we need to avoid comparing ourselves to those around us. God made us the way we are for a reason. BUT. Are we perfect? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ll speak for myself and say that I am far from perfect. In order for me to be the best version of myself, there are many aspects of my life that need to change. Our potential to change the world is limited by our willingness to change ourselves. Our flaws, our imperfections, our fears, our failures, our insecurities, our weaknesses... these all serve a purpose in making us who we are. Our journey to overcome our weaknesses is what truly defines us. If we never address our fears, failures, and imperfections, how will we ever refine the person we have the potential to be? 

We are all unique and we need to embrace our individuality, but our differences may not necessarily be our inadequacies. It’s important to note that if we perceive the traits that make us unique as imperfection, we will never utilize our God-given gifts. So how do we tell the difference between what makes us who we are, and what is holding us back from becoming who God wants us to be? I believe one way to understand the difference is to look at what dictates our decisions. When we give our personal interest precedence over God’s desire for our lives, we fail to take full advantage of His provision for us. Have you ever felt that there was something you needed to do? You know that tugging on your heart that we so often ignore? I know I’ve had this happen before and I’ve justified ignoring it by saying “well that’s completely against my personality and God gave me this personality so I don’t think I need to do it...” My personal interest in this situation was my fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone, and this held me back from possibly impacting the world around me. When we are unwilling to change ourselves, we will fail to make the impact on the world that God has planned for us. So look at the different aspects of your life. Do these aspects of who you are serve to better the world around you? Or do they serve to better YOUR world? Do your actions, which reflect who you are, positively impact the lives of those around you? Or do they simply make you feel better about yourself? Change yourself- the inherent traits, present in all of us, which compel you to neglect the greater good- and I guarantee you will see changes in the world around you. 

Roadblocks to Health

“We must overcome the notion that we must be regular... it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.” -Uta Hagen

Today in church we were talking about the things that keep us from God- the things that prevent us from achieving our full capacity for spiritual health, if you will. I’ve been thinking about it, and the things that prevent me from growing closer to God also prevent me from achieving optimal mental, emotional, and physical health as well. There is one issue in particular, but it is not the only issue that I struggle with. I’ve mentioned it in many of my other blog posts, but I think (maybe incorrectly, so clarify if I am wrong), many other individuals have the same struggle. I tend to put my reputation- what I want people to think about me and the way other’s perceive me- above becoming the person God has created me to be. I so strongly long for the approval of others that I seek to be the person they want me to be instead of who God yearns for me to become. I compare who I am with who everyone else is. I find a talent or gift that someone else has and I try to take it on myself. Then, if I can’t, I accuse myself of not being as good of a person as they are. Does any one else do this, too? I tend to prioritize what the world advocates to be necessary in order to obtain perfection that God’s ultimate perfection ceases to be of any importance. I so struggle with looking to what everyone- friends, media, social influences- deems as beautiful that I neglect God’s hopes for me to achieve the beauty He intends for me, a beauty that will have far more of an effect on this world that any amount of physical beauty could ever have. When I allow it to, this one struggle consumes my thoughts and dictates my actions so that I begin to value acceptance over integrity, pleasing others over pleasing God, fleeting feelings of satisfaction over true mental, spiritual, emotional and physical health. 

This is just one area we allow to block the pathway between us and God- between us and achieving the fullest, most healthful lives we can possibly live. Take a look at your life. What do you prioritize? What do you use to measure the fullness of your life? What is standing in your way of becoming the person God has created you to be? What prevents you from pursuing your passions and seeking to find your purpose in life? Whatever it is for you personally, if you aren’t able to overcome it, it will undoubtedly serve as one of the biggest hinderances to achieving optimal health in your life. It may not necessarily be a bad thing, but whenever we give undue importance to the ultimately unimportant we will fail to become who we were created to be.  

Perceptions and Expectations

“You expect the worst, and you always get your way...” -Cold War Kids, Out of the Wilderness

Have you ever noticed how our expectations and the way we perceive our circumstances dictate how we experience life? For example... Let’s say you live in a very dry area and there has been little to no rain for the last few months, but a storm is starting to roll in. Now, if you are a farmer, and you hope for a good rain to support your crops,  you will rejoice at the very first rain drop. Now, let’s say it’s your wedding day and an outside wedding has been planned. The much needed rain will not be met with the same hopeful anticipation, will it? In fact, it will most likely bring about anxiety and disappointment. This rain, although it is needed in the grand scheme of things, can bring about hope and dismay at the same time, depending on our expectations and perceptions. In this situation, our expectations and perceptions will have no impact on whether or not the rain comes, but it will determine how we react to and grow from our experience. If the bride, whose plans for a beautiful outside wedding have been ruined, is able to see this rain as the answer to the farmer’s plans, it may ease the disappointment she feels. She will not have to dwell on these feelings for long, and will be able to move on to her back-up plan and enjoy her big day. If, however, she is not able to see past her own misfortune, she will spend her whole day wallowing in self pity and her memories from this special day will most likely be of a negative nature. Which day would you prefer to have? The difference between a good day and a bad day lies within your perception- how do you see your life experiences? Are you able to see how everything that happens to you can serve a purpose? Or are you unable to see past your own disappointment? 

Switching gears here, have you ever met someone who is always able to find something negative to point out about every situation? If you always look for the negative, you will find it, but what good does that serve? These people tend to be exhausting to spend much time around. If you are excited about something, they like to point out why you shouldn’t be. If you stumble upon a great idea, they enjoy explaining to you why it won’t work, or what could possibly go wrong. If you receive a piece of good news, they will be there to show you the downside to your circumstances. What can this do except discourage you? And if they are there to refer you to the negative side of everything, can you imagine how negative their own lives must be? If your first response is always to assess the situation, find any potential complication, limitation, or trouble, and then assume you will undoubtedly encounter this issue, I guarantee you will. Now hear me out... I’m not saying that you shouldn’t logically think through your life choices and circumstances. What I am saying is, the way you expect things to turn out and the way you perceive what cards you have been dealt will determine the level of contentment and enjoyment you will experience in life. 

We are only given one life. We can either choose to spend it in fear of what could possibly go wrong or upset over what has gone wrong, or we can enjoy each moment we are given. There will be times of heartache, disappointment, and tragedy that are inevitable. But the way we perceive life... our relationships, our successes and failures, our passions, our purpose... Our perceptions of these things dictate the fullness with which our lives are experienced. We can either choose to live a life filled with anxiety, sadness, discouragement, and an expectation for the worst, or our lives can be marked with optimism, contentment, growth and peace in the midst of chaos. I truly believe that what our lives our filled with will determine the extent to which we can achieve optimal health- spiritually, mentally, and physically. 

Accepting the Beauty in our Differences

If we can love ourselves in spite of our faults and foibles, and if we can accept our own weaknesses and wrongdoings, then why do we resist loving and accepting others because they do not meet our expectations?
-- David L. Weatherford

Have you ever met someone, spent time trying to get to know them, and then realized that there is just something about them that doesn’t quite mesh with who you are? Maybe their beliefs clash with your own, their personality doesn’t line up with yours, or their Type A mentality doesn’t bode well with your laid-back way of living. It can be very hard to coexist with individuals who are different than yourself. 

I talk a lot about accepting who God made you to be and learning to use your uniqueness to find your purpose, but how do we handle the individuality of those around us? Do we accept it? Or do we try to find ways to change the other person? If the qualities that make us different provide purpose and meaning for our own lives, shouldn’t we accept and even encourage the differences in others? Instead, we often complain, become agitated with, and discretely hint at the need for the individual to change their qualities that we perceive as bothersome. Granted, no one is perfect and we all have issues that we need to work on to become better versions of ourselves. What, though, would happen if we put our differences aside and not only attempted to see how our own lives can be used to better the world around us, but also tried to see how others in our lives can better the world? As I said, we so often try to change those around us, but what if we allowed them to be who they are created to be in order to fulfill a purpose in our own life? I believe an ultimate sign of maturity is first, being aware of the innate desire to feel needed and useful, which is present in everyone, and then, allowing and encouraging others to develop their own way in which to fulfill this desire. It’s one thing to tolerate differences, it’s another to wholly accept them. 

I do want to point out that you do not necessarily have to agree with or embody their actions, beliefs, or interactions with others. For example, I am an extremely non-confrontational individual. I HATE conflict. Honestly, that’s an understatement. This aspect of my personality can strongly clash with others who confront every single issue that goes against their sense of well-being. We all have different ways of interacting according to our personalities. But by accepting who they are, I don’t have to become who they are. I often feel that certain conflicts can be disregarded whereas someone else may strongly feel they need to be dealt with. This difference can be used to teach us both something. Me, how to be more assertive when the need arises, my friend, how to let go of an issue that need not escalate at this point in time. 

We need to begin to allow our differences, one of God’s most beautiful gifts to us (in my opinion), to help us reach our full potential as ourselves. We don’t need to try to be just like everyone else, but we need to learn from them and also support them in reaching their full potential as themselves. We can’t control everyone and we can’t change everyone. We can accept everyone and allow who we are created to be to help them become who they are created to be. 

My Philosophy on Kayaking

Sorry it's been a while. It's been a busy couple of weeks.. I finished my internship and am now one step closer to becoming a registered dietitian! All I have left is to pass the registration exam. It's a good feeling to be finished.. Although unemployment is not the greatest feeling :)

Since I have lots of free time now, I've been able to enjoy some new experiences that I didn't have time for during the internship. For example, I went kayaking last week out at a lake. We had a two hour rental for the kayaks, and the first hour was wonderful. We were going with the current, the waves, and the wind. We had a relaxing drift out to the middle of the lake and I thoroughly enjoyed my time on the water. After the first hour, one of the girls I was with thought it would be a good idea to go ahead and start to make our way back in, then we could just float and relax until our time to turn in the kayaks. That sounds wonderful, had it actually have been the case. I kid you not, as soon as we turned our kayaks around to head back in, the wind picked up, the waves got bigger, and the current pushed against our kayaks with a force greater than my own strength. I had not realized, until this point, how far away we were from our starting point, our destination. It's funny how easily we can drift away from where it is we need to be or want to be. I'm sure you are wondering how it turned out. Let me tell you, I've never felt so much desperation in my life. I literally thought they would need to bring out a boat to pull us in. We later found out the wind gusts we were paddling against were Over 30 mph. Maybe that doesn't seem that strong to you, but I was struggling! But we made it! One hour of strenuous, exhausting paddling against the wind, waves, and current, we made it safely to shore. Some (me) a little more burned out than the others :)

As I was trying to maintain my sanity while using every muscle in my body to make it to shore, I was thinking about how that experience resembles life for us all, in a couple ways in particular. First, as I mentioned before, it is so easy for us to drift away from our destination point, our place where we are meant to be, where we find purpose and can feel that we are led to. If we don't constantly remain focused on that point, if we don't continually redirect our lives, our kayaks, to this place, we will drift away. And coming back is always much harder than the drifting. Once we figure out what it is that we are made to do, who we are created to be, we need to continue to keep our eyes on this, whatever it may be. We may drift away because of laziness, selfish ambition, distractions, tough life situations... But only until you find purpose in you life will you consequently find contentment. Next, I realized how we try to do everything on our own and how much this takes a toll on our bodies. Granted, I would have not argued had someone offered to help me, but how often in life do we attempt to make changes, pursue goals, and accomplish things without allowing anyone to help us out? In the end, yes, we feel accomplished, but how much stress and discouragement could we have avoided had we allowed someone to help us out, whether it be through encouragement, support, delegation of responsibilities, or help in any other way. We weren't made to do life alone. Allow others to enter your life and provide support that may make all the difference.

I'm laughing at the whole situation now, but I can tell you I was not laughing as I was paddling and honestly feeling like I was not moving an inch. Life is tough sometimes, but we make it through. We live, we learn. We make mistakes, we change, we do the best with what we are given. You only have one life. Don't waste it drifting away from your point of purpose and avoiding relationships that could help ease the load of life's experiences.

The Search for the Open Door

"We so often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us." -Alexander Graham Bell

This past year I’ve spent a great amount of time trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I’ve done a lot of soul-searching and trying to understand who I am. Not who I think others want me to be, but who I have been created to be. I’ve considered what I am naturally good at and how that can be incorporated into a career. I’ve set goals based on these thoughts and have found motivation and purpose by doing this. It has helped me see of what use my presence on earth can be. This is not selfish at all. Everyone is gifted in different ways and it is important for all aspects of our health that we utilize these gifts and feel that we are making a difference. But what happens when things don’t work out the way we would like for them to? We set goals for ourselves and see what we think may be the golden opportunity to pursue our passions and strengthen our abilities, but the door shuts before we even get to it. It can be discouraging and disheartening, but don’t give up.  Things happen for a reason, I truly believe it. Think about every time you’ve been convinced something should happen the way you want it to. Think back to the person you were just in love with and wanted to marry back in middle school or high school. When I think about that it puts it in perspective for me. Thank goodness I didn’t get what I wanted! One day you’ll look back on the door that slammed shut in your face and realize that the door opening behind you was just the right path for you to enter into. The hardest part is turning around and leaving the entryway to what you thought was the only way for you to go. If we dwell on all of our missed opportunities or disappointing turn of events we will miss the other possible directions our lives can take that will be a better use of our talents and abilities. Disappointment, unfortunately, is a part of life and is something we must all deal with. One of my earlier posts dealt with pain and how to deal with that in a way that is beneficial for our mental, spiritual, and physical health. Disappointment definitely falls into the painful category. What’s great about life is that there are so many ways to utilize your gifts and talents. If one way fails to work out, take your disappointment and use it to empower your search for another open door. Of course this is easier said that done. Once you allow yourself to acknowledge the disappointment you feel, pick yourself up, and continue on your journey to become and enjoy the person you are created to be. 

Life, in Moderation

“If one oversteps the bounds of moderation, the greatest pleasures cease to please.” -Epictetus

Do you ever find a song, maybe you hear it on the radio for the first time, and then that radio station begins to play the song ALL the time? Give it a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe more, but if you’re anything like me, I guarantee you’ll begin to hate that song. Occasionally, though, I’ll hear a song that I really like, and the radio station will hardly ever play it. I enjoy that song so much more than the song I hear all the time. This is true of so many things in life. And not just in regard to our enjoyment… it is true regarding our health as well. There are very few things in which having an excess is a good thing. Unfortunately our society tends to advocate that we need everything in excess. We need the best of everything and we need lots of it. We need to super-size our meals and buy the newest generation of technology every time it comes out. We indulge in every bit of extravagance we can find. If you compare our ways of living to impoverished nations in the world, the one word I would use to describe our lifestyles is excessive. Moderation is not a concept we hear too often. In our excessive culture, it is fitting that the major diet crazes tend to revolve around excessive restriction. Don’t eat any carbs. Remove all fat from your diet. Only eat grapefruit. Can’t there be a balance? We want to find that one thing that is causing all of our health issues and take it away. Unfortunately, it may not be exclusively what we eat, but rather how much of it we eat that is behind all of the major health disparities afflicting our nation. As I have gained experience providing nutritional counseling, I have seen that promoting the idea of moderation is crucial. But why is it so hard for us to live with balance and moderation? It is very rare that we are told that living in moderation is enjoyable and beneficial. Until we come to this conclusion for ourselves, we will have no reason to be motivated to accept this notion.

I have several conclusions I have come to that I want to share. I’m going to relate each conclusion to food and then to life in general. First, the more we have the more we want. In regard to food, this doesn’t happen immediately. If I eat a huge meal, I can promise you it is NOT more food that I want. But, if I continually eat large amounts at every meal, my body will adapt and begin to require more food at each meal in order to feel full. This is why the best diet plan is to eat small frequent meals. If you eat small amounts throughout the day, you don’t allow yourself to become so hungry that you must consume excessive amounts of food to be satisfied. In regard to life in general, I don’t feel that I need to explain much, it’s pretty obvious. We all want more than we have. The newness of what we have eventually wears off and we are left feeling dissatisfied and wanting more. Just like with food, if we continually indulge in excessive living, it will take more excessive living to find that feeling of satisfaction, which will eventually wear off and we will be left hungry for more. We are merely setting ourselves up for disappointment. I’m not saying don’t ever buy new things. But if we live in moderation and avoid trying to find fulfillment in what we have, we can spend more time investing in relationships and other people.

Secondly, moderation allows us to continue to find joy in the things we don’t overindulge in. My mom makes this chocolate cake that I absolutely love. It is by far my favorite dessert. She made it for me a couple of weeks ago when I went home and I don’t think I’ve had it in years. Can I just tell you I enjoyed eating that cake more than I have enjoyed any type of food in a long time… and I’ve had some good food. Let’s say, though, that I make that cake for myself every week. Would I have enjoyed it, then, that much when I went home? Of course not! In fact, I would probably be sick of it and would never want to eat it again… and what a shame that would be! I think we could say the same of relationships, too. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Have you ever had those times where you spend excessive amounts of time with one person and you just begin to get frustrated easily? Things they did that were funny soon become annoying. Time apart is good! If we are excessive in the time spent we spend with others we can get worn out. Now, I want to explain myself here. I mentioned at the beginning that there are a few things that in excess are beneficial. I believe that faith, hope and love fit in this category. But what I am trying to say with this is that moderation, in regard to relationships, can allow us to continue to find enjoyment in the relationship even after years of time together.

Sorry if I have been rambling here. Accepting and then living out the idea of moderation is difficult. When we allow the idea that excess is needed to benefit our lives, we are putting ourselves in danger of making life a lot more difficult to enjoy. If we can begin to search for ways to live in moderation, we can enjoy what we have, not constantly crave more, and avoid facing the consequences of our over-indulgence, specifically with food. It is definitely contrary to what our society promotes, but if we can learn and begin to accept this lifestyle, it will help us live healthier more purposeful lives. 

Finding Purpose in Pain

“Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters.” - Jim Morrison

If you’ve been reading my blog posts, you know that I have a firm belief that true health, encompassing all aspects of health, stems from having a purpose in life. It can only be achieved, I believe, if one can see his or her body as a means to utilize their gifts and talents, and consequently strive to care for their body in such a way as to enhance their ability to better their world. What do you think is the biggest roadblock to living in this way? I think there are two major roadblocks, but I’m just going to address one today; and these are pain and apathy. When I refer to pain, I am including all emotions and experiences that are associated with heartache, disappointment, embarrassment, hurt feelings, and dissatisfaction. Pain has the potential to edify and strengthen ones capacity for true health, but it also has the potential to paralyze an individual’s desire for true health.  It all has to do with how we deal with pain. Do you acknowledge its presence? Or do you numb it with obsessions, addictions, and a false sense of happiness? Pain is real. We all face it and all sources of our pain are worth dealing with. We face these painful thoughts and feelings on a daily basis.  Our pain influences all of our actions, thought processes, decisions, and interactions with others. If our painful thoughts, feelings, and experiences have such a huge impact on our lives, as I am implying here, then they are something we should address when seeking true health in our lives.

It’s important for us to seize every opportunity we are given to learn and grow. This includes painful opportunities. It is so easy to become angry at our misfortune. It’s not fair. We didn’t do anything to deserve what happens to us. These thoughts plague our minds during times of hardship. It’s so tempting to play the victim in life. I do it all the time. We blind ourselves with the misery of the trials and difficulties of our own lives until we are unable to see the bridge that these circumstances create to bring us to a more able, gifted, and equipped version of ourselves. With each painful experience comes a new purpose for your life. Just think about how many people you can help because of your life’s circumstances up to this point. I’ve seen this to be true in my own life. The more I allow myself to deal with my painful thoughts and experiences, the more I am able to grow and share my story with others to help them deal with their pain. The lessons I have learned from addressing my pain have enabled me to walk through more difficult times with a sense of determination and preparedness.

I guess there are two points I am trying to make here. First, don’t ignore your pain. Numbing or ignoring your pain will only lead to deeper, more complex emotional issues that will eventually surface. You can only ignore the negative nature of your own mind for so long. Deal with these issues and search for peace from the destruction your pain creates. Secondly, look for purpose in all you encounter, especially your pain. In all painful situations, you have three choices. 1. You ignore your hurt and pain. You don’t consciously acknowledge it, but it is always there… reminding your of its presence. 2. You dwell on your pain. You beat yourself up and allow yourself to wallow in self-pity because of the pain you feel. You remind everyone of your pain and of his or her role in the development of your pain. 3. You step back and look at the situation from an outside perspective. You see how the pain you feel has affected your relationships, thoughts, and actions. You see what purpose this pain can have in your life. How can you use your circumstances to help those around you? How can you become a better person because of this pain? And how can you avoid 1. and 2. from overtaking your thoughts? 

There aren’t always answers for our pain and hurt. But if your life could be spent in one of the three ways I just described, which would your prefer? In order for us to continue on this path of true health, we must deal with the painful thoughts and experiences we deal with every day. It takes time and a conscious effort. But once you begin to use your pain to help ease the pain for someone else, the load your pain bears on you will lighten. It will become yet another means for you to find purpose in your life, and therefore another motivation for you to see yourself and your physical body as a tool to better the world around you. 

How To Change Your Mind

“The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else.” -E. E. Cummings

Why is it so simple to give advice to others, yet seemingly impossible to accept it for ourselves? I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve advocated for the truth that beauty comes from within and then turned around to critique myself in front of the mirror. I question whether we can ever do away with this desire to embody our society’s unobtainable ideal of beauty. If you’ve read my past few blog posts, you’ve read about some of my ideas on health. Constantly feeling defeated because we don’t feel adequate according to our culture’s standards is one of the most limiting factors to achieving an ideal health status.

In our own way, we all deal with these messages that are thrown in our face by our “perfection” crazed culture. Some of us put on a façade of confidence in front of others and then project our insecurities onto those closest to us. Some of us spend hours of our week in front of the mirror picking out features we wish we could change. Some take measures to surgically change these features. Some spend countless hours in the gym. Some of us torture ourselves by comparing our inadequacies to the perfection we perceive in others. Some try to find distractions from the overwhelming feelings of inadequacy. Some attempt to ignore these thoughts altogether. Can you identify with any of these descriptions? Some embrace a single trait they find attractive in themselves and flaunt it in attempt to receive positive feedback from others and increase their feelings of self-worth. Some constantly, publicly put themselves down in attempt to hear a self-esteem boosting comment from someone else. I think I have tried each one of these compensatory mechanisms (except the surgical procedures…. And maybe the countless hours at the gym…) and I can honestly say that not a single one has produced in me contentment in regard to my appearance.

I have found, though, a few ways to adjust my thoughts from dwelling on my faults and flaws.  I’ve always had a hard time with accepting who I am. I tend to compare myself to the other people in my life and find the things they are good at convince myself I am worth less because I do not have the same traits. If there has been one lesson I feel I have continually been taught over the 22 years of my life, it is that comparing yourself to other people is dangerous and stupid. There is nothing good that can come of making mental venn-diagrams of yourself with the other people in your life. You may think I’m exaggerating here... I’ve literally done this. You are you. Stop trying to be someone else. God made you the way you are because He has a unique plan to use you in a way He can’t use anyone else. If you stop and think about it, differences in personalities and talents is the only way our world can continue to go on. If everyone were gifted in the same field of study, nothing else would be able to function. I love to take notice of this idea in the hospital. There are so many disciplines that enable a facility like a hospital function properly. You have doctors, nurses, surgeons, physical therapists, occupational therapists, dietitians, social workers, speech therapists, etc. who work directly with the patients, but then you also have the business administrative professionals who take care of financial matters, environmental services who help keep the hospital clean… and the list goes on. No one position makes the individual worth more than the other and each position is necessary to make the organization function as efficiently and effectively as a whole. This is the same in life. Individuality is what makes our relationships so beautiful.

One other way I have found to change the focus of my thoughts away from myself is to do something for someone else. I will stand by this idea until someone can prove me wrong- as soon as you start to dwell on thoughts of self-dislike, go do something to help out someone else. I guarantee you the self-focused thoughts will fade away. It works for me every time, without fail. The hard part is finding the will to force yourself out of this self-consumed mentality. I have found nothing more fulfilling and self-esteem boosting than serving others. Especially if you find ways to serve that utilize your natural gifts. If your job enables to you to this, that’s great. But I would encourage you to find a way to help other out beyond your career. Volunteer with an organization that can let you help out in a way that brings you joy. Don’t make yourself do something you hate. Find something you enjoy, that makes you feel useful, and devote your time to this cause. It doesn’t even have to be with an organization, it can be in the lives of your friends/family/coworkers/neighbors. Just do something for someone else rather than spending excess amounts of time criticizing and evaluating yourself.

I feel like I may be repetitive in these posts, but I think these are messages we can all benefit from hearing multiple times… I know I’ve been trying to learn these lessons for years and years, so reiterating them won’t hurt any of us. With the constant reminder from society that none of us can match up to its ideal, it is next to impossible for us to avoid a negative self image without completely isolating ourselves from the world. So take my suggestions or find your own ways to avoid thinking about your flaws and faults, but either way, we have to find a way to stop living in self-defeat if we want to live a healthy, purposeful life. 

Lessons Learned

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”  -Douglas Adams

This past week was a little difficult for me. I spent several days watching patients deal with the consequences of years of indifference toward their health. I hated watching them face the pain of neglecting to take the necessary measures to avoid completely preventable complications. It broke my heart that these patients were in so much pain, but all I could think was, “How could you let yourself get this far?!” I was almost angry that they could value their body and health so little. I don’t know how to feel about this reaction I had, but I’ve given it a lot of thought. We all face the daily consequences of our actions, whether this is in regard to our health, relationships, careers, etc. Unfortunately, some consequences are more painful and visibly noticeable than others. Who am I to feel frustration with these individuals when I make poor choices for which I have to face the consequences of each day? All I can do is learn from their circumstances and strive to make healthy choices in regard to my physical body. After all, that’s the beauty of mistakes- the opportunity to learn and better one’s condition. 

With this said, what can we take from this? How is it possible for us to learn from and makes changes that stem from an awareness of another’s consequences? I think it is important to let this serve as a motivator for change. After seeing the excruciating pain one man endured because of a lifetime of poor diabetes control, I can guarantee you I am motivated to take the necessary precautions to avoid developing diabetes and encouraging those who have this condition to care for themselves. The sight of that poor man’s wound will forever be in my memory. I think it is important to intentionally take notice of the results of our own decisions and the decisions of others and use this knowledge to promote change in our own lives. Be aware of how one decision affects your own life and the lives of those around you and allow this to influence your actions.

Often times it is hard to be influenced by consequences that will result years, maybe decades down the road. We may say, “Oh it doesn’t matter if I _______, because I won’t have to deal with ________ immediately… I can deal with it later.” I’m so guilty of this! Take school work/projects, for example. I sometimes think, I’ll go out and have fun today and finish up the work tomorrow. But then tomorrow rolls around, and something else comes up. So I push back what needs to be done yet one more day. As I keep pushing back what needs to be done because it doesn’t conveniently fit into my schedule, I minimize the effort I will be capable of putting into this important project. We tend to prioritize our comfort and convenience over our health all in effort to make life easier for ourselves in the here in now. But, I’ve come to believe, a true sign of maturity is being able to see past your present comfort and possess self control in order to allow for a better future for yourself and your loved ones. I believe this relates to physical health and to the “mental” and “spiritual” health I’ve referred to in my past few blog postings.

My last thought in regard to this topic has to do with putting aside our foolish pride. Pride can be a huge hindrance to learning from ours and others’ mistakes. Think about it… by making a change we are admitting there is something about us that isn’t worthy of keeping the same. I hate to break it to you, but no one is perfect. Yes, that’s right, not even you. I have such a hard time with this. I try so hard to be perfect, but we just aren’t! We are human and we will make mistakes and poor choices. We have an entire lifetime ahead of us to make changes to become healthier individuals (in all aspects of health). You are never too old or too young to put aside your pride, look to the future, and use the consequences of past faults to better the coming years.

Developing the ability to learn from mistakes isn’t something that comes easily to us, for the reasons previously described. Unfortunately, this is the most effective means by which we are influenced. I’ve seen in my own life that many lessons my parents tried to teach me through verbal instruction, I haven’t been able to fully learn until experiencing the consequences for myself. We are each given one life and one opportunity to make the most of it… don’t neglect your physical, mental, and spiritual health for immediate satisfaction, or you may be the one providing the lesson for others. 

The Power of Your Words

Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is. -Blaise Pascal

I have been thinking a lot lately about the power we hold just because of the words we are able to say. I think we underestimate how much what we say (or sometimes, don’t say) can affect others in our lives. Words are such a fascinating concept. With a single word, an individual’s life can be changed. Of course it is the meaning behind the word that makes the difference, but that is all it takes. And that power is within us! Honestly this scares me. I often speak without thinking about what I am saying and how it may affect someone else. There are many situations when our words (or lack of words) get away from us. First, when we are angry. Now I keep mentioning lack of words. And this is because I am more the type of person who, when angry, will shut down and not say anything. Some people blow up and say everything, not me. This is a problem, when, I am angry or upset and should be there for someone else, but because I am upset, I won’t say the words they may need to hear. In this situation, my lack of words is affecting someone else. On the other hand, anger can bring about hurtful and upsetting words that can be just as devastating, if not more so. Another situation in which we may loose control of what we say is as a result of jealousy. Jealousy puts up within us a wall of defense in which we feel we have to protect ourselves from someone else’s successes. Why is it so hard for us to be happy for others who are given or achieve something we don’t? I will be the first to admit I have such a hard time with this. And when these situations arise, I have a hard time using my words to build that other person up. A third situation revolves around lies. Lies have the potential to ruin relationships, lives, reputations, and self-esteem. An untruthful word can hurt so much even if the lie is eventually accounted for.

I know this blog is supposed to be about health and healthy living. So why am I talking about words? I am coming to realize more and more the intensity in which our interactions with others affect our outlook on life. In my last posting I talked about the different aspect of health- including spiritual and mental in addition to physical. I question the importance of physical health without mental and spiritual health. If our own mental and spiritual health is significant to ourselves, then we can assume this is the case in others as well. And if our words have the potential to injure the spiritual and mental health of others, than we need to keep our words (or lack of words) in check. Wouldn’t you agree? Yet why do we, on a daily basis, say words that can hurt someone else? Even if said in a joking manner, these words are not aiming to benefit the other. I’m not saying don’t joke around and have fun. But be aware of the things you say and how they might make the other person feel.

If, then, our negative words have the power to influence someone in a negative manner, would it be accurate to assume our positive words can influence someone in a positive manner? This is obvious. You give someone an encouraging comment, and they are given a little bit of optimism for the day. I know several people in my life who are naturally good at this. Each time, after I finish talking to them, I walk away feeling uplifted and in a better mood. These people have had such a huge impact on my life through the kindness behind the words they share. I so desire to be this type of person, who uses every conversation to better the mental and spiritual health of another.

I don’t know if you’ve ever given a second thought to the power your words can have on the health of someone else. If not, I would encourage you to try to remind yourself on a regular basis to intentionally use the power of your words to generate a more healthy culture of people around you. 

The Spectrum of Health

Health is a large word.  It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well;... and not today's pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man. 

-James H. West

We all want to be healthy. We read countless magazine articles on healthy living. Hey, you’re reading this blog on healthy and purposeful living! But when you think of the word “health”, what do you think of? Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind is our physical health- proper diet, exercise, and the absence of sickness. Would you agree with me, though, that one could live the entirety of their life pursuing this idea of “health”, but still end up with the ills and infirmities of regrets, missed opportunities, and disappointments? If so, the pursuit of physical health will have been in vain. Don’t get me wrong; I am a huge advocate of healthy living in regard to our bodies. I truly believe proper diet and exercise are the best means by which we can take care of ourselves. But health is not made up of just one component. Our mind and spirit contribute as well. When we put all of our eggs in one basket and fail to acknowledge the whole spectrum of “health”, we cheat ourselves of living the most healthful life we can potentially live.

So what else contributes to our health? “Mind” and “spirit” are so vague- what does that even mean? If you have any input I’d love to hear it. But I’ll share with you my opinion. I think, and you can differ with me on this point if you’d like, that relationships are the #1 indicator of our non-physical health. Do you have good, strong, encouraging relationships in your life? This doesn’t have to be a significant other… do you have friends, family, etc. who support you and build you up? Do you feel that you are loved by the people you are surrounded by? I was asked this week if I internalized stress and if so, if I had an outlet for this stress. And to be truthful, I do internalize stress. I don’t like to acknowledge stress and I think if I pretend it’s not there then I won’t have to deal with it. But my response to the second part of the question was that I feel my true outlet for stress is the relationships that I have in my life. I am so thankful for the amazing family I have been blessed with and the role they play in my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today. In addition to this, I have some pretty amazing friends who support me and encourage me, and I truly feel loved when I am around them. I know not everyone feels they have relationships like this. Although I have always had my strong relationship with my family, I have gone through periods in my life where I did not have many good friend relationships. It is extremely hard to remain mentally and spiritually “healthy” without this, at least for me. I encourage you to actively pursue relationships with others. Sometimes you have to put forth the effort to begin a relationship with someone, but I guarantee you it is worth it. Don’t let yourself neglect this needs for relationship… it is vital for a healthy life.

Another component to a healthy “mind” and “spirit” is having a purpose and passion. I can’t imagine what life would be like without feeling like it had any purpose or direction. What are you passionate about? What makes you feel like you are contributing to the world? I would advise you to take time to genuinely think about this. What issues in the world get you fired up and make you want to make a difference? Take this passion and put it into action! I’ll give you an example. Whenever I hear stories about individuals whose lives have been ruined because of problems that occurred during their childhood my heart breaks. I cannot stand to hear of childhood abuse- whether physical, emotional or verbal. Children are so vulnerable and influenced by what goes on around them, and the idea of a child growing up in an environment in which they do not feel secure or loved makes me feel sick. Because of this, I have decided to adopt my children, when the time comes, to spare these children from growing up in such an environment. My desire to work with individuals with eating disorders stems from this as well. I know it is not always the case, but I believe that many incidences of disordered eating come from dealing with a childhood environment without security, approval, or attention. All of this to say, intentionally seek out that which brings about a sense of purpose in your life and pursue this with your whole heart.

There are many other components to achieving the greatest health potential possible... laughter, sleep, relaxation, and many, many more. I have just mentioned the two most important- in my opinion. All the “health” (in regard to physical health) in the world will not bring contentment or true mental and spiritual health in the end. I’m not saying it’s ok to neglect the health of your body, but as I said earlier, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. True health is a balance of physical, mental and spiritual well being. Pursue all three with as much fervor as you see fit to live the healthiest life you can. 

Making a Change

“There’s no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!” -Oprah Winfrey

I always cringe when I see people intently looking at my name badge while I am at the hospital. I know they are going to ask me one of three things. 1. For directions, which I usually am not able to give. I do well to get myself to the places I need to be without getting lost. 2. If I am old enough to be working in the hospital. To which I smile politely and inwardly remind myself I will appreciate these comments when I am older. Or 3. For diet advice, because they see “nutrition services” on my badge. I really don’t mind this last one… I just wish I had longer than an elevator ride to listen to their stories.

This past week, as I was getting on the elevator, a woman asked me this ‘dietary advice’ question. She told me that she knew she needed to lose weight, but her doctor told her she needed to stop eating starchy foods and she just has such a hard time doing this.  Well of course she does! Who wouldn’t? I think one of the hardest things about working in the field of nutrition is finding the balance between scientific knowledge and reality. Science tells us that if we eat more fruits and vegetables and less candy bars, we will be able to consume more food with fewer calories and greater amounts of vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc. But here’s where the flip side of reality comes in… those candy bars are our favorite! When we get home from work, we are so stressed and eating that candy bar just helps us relax. We don’t want an apple, we want a Snickers! So maybe we put down the Snickers the first day of our “diet”. We are extremely motivated and it’s not too hard to grab the apple instead. And maybe this will work the next day, and the next, and maybe the next. But what about after that? We are already burnt out on this “healthy” stuff. We have had a really hard day, and the last thing we want is a piece of fruit. What we really want is that candy bar! What do you think will happen? You guessed it… the pear will stay on the counter and the candy bar will be gone. How often has this happened in our attempts to eat healthy? It’s no wonder yo-yo dieting and weight cycling are so common in our society. We try to make unrealistic changes to our lifestyles and we try to make these changes immediately. Unfortunately, there is no instant gratification in regard to living a healthy life. It’s not a one-time fix… it’s a constant effort to take care of the body you’ve been given.

There has to be a way to take our scientific knowledge of our metabolism and health and be able to make realistic changes in the way we treat our bodies. I think the way this happens is different for each individual. There is no trick that will work for everyone. We need to find our own motivation for change and make small changes over time. Unfortunately, since we live in this diet-crazed culture that seeks instant gratification in every aspect of our lives, including taking care of ourselves, it becomes engrained in our brains that we need to look good and look good now. We seem to be taught that making the effort to change our lifestyle will take too much time… instead, we need to take a weight loss pill or go on a diet that will help us lose 20 pounds in one week! (except you can only eat grapefruit). The only problem is, the most effective way to care for our bodies is not a one-time, easy fix. It means taking personal responsibility to care for the body you’ve been given.

So how do we make this change? How do we find the motivation, will, and drive to start treating our bodies the way we are supposed to? I believe there are a few ways that can help make this task a little less daunting. First, make small changes over time. I know I have a hard time with this. I like to set big goals for myself, which have nothing wrong in and of themselves.  But trying to tackle a whole mountain before you’ve even been able to get over a hill is probably not the best idea- you will only set yourself up for failure and discouragement. Start slow. Make changes you are willing to make and know you can make. Then, when you feel ready to start something else, do it. Unless your health is facing an immediate crisis, the key is to work slowly in order to ensure the changes you make will last. Next, find someone to keep you in check. If you try to do this on your own, it will be so easy to stray from your goals and pretend it didn’t happen. Also, it makes it a lot more enjoyable and comforting if you have someone to discuss struggles, temptations, and victories with. Lastly, reward yourself! Not with food, but with something that will be an extra motivator to succeed. I heard a patient once say that they were keeping track of every mile they walked and once they had walked the number of miles that would take them to Hawaii they would allow themselves to take a trip to Hawaii. It doesn’t have to be this expensive or elaborate, but designate short term and long term rewards for yourself.  

Making changes in your lifestyle is the best way to live a healthier life. Don’t try to find a quick fix when it comes to your health. You wouldn’t take your brand new car to the quickest, least expensive mechanic in town. You would take the time and resources to see someone who you were sure would take care of your car. How much more valuable is your own life? Make the effort to treat your own body the way you would your most prized possession. This is the only way a change will last.

Hope Through Faith

“If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” -C.S. Lewis

Without faith, is it possible to have hope? I believe no. In order to hope, we must have faith in something. Unfortunately we often put our faith in things that will not satisfy… money, relationships, beauty, success, fame, and acceptance. But how often do these things bring us contentment that lasts beyond the initial enjoyment? We seek to gain more money, nicer cars, slimmer bodies, more friends, and more relationships… but do they ever eliminate the deeper turmoil within us? When I started this blog, I decided to try hard not to make it too overtly “Christian”. I know that we all hold different beliefs regarding God and spirituality, so I wanted to keep my “religious” ideas to a minimum in order to discuss ideas we can all agree on (for the most part). But I don’t think I can go any further in explaining how we can live purposeful and healthy lives without directing our attention to the One who created life. Before I go into all of this, I realize that you may not agree with what I say. I don’t, by any means, believe that I have all the answers. God is much bigger than our little minds could ever comprehend and for us to think that God is limited to our personal beliefs is extremely foolish and arrogant. I am just going to share what I have seen to be true in my own life and the lives of others. I also want to point something out…I’m not perfect. I have doubts and questions, flaws and insecurities, and struggles just like everyone else. Please don’t, by any means, think that what I share is in judgment or condemnation. God is still working on my life and I struggle day in and day out. But, it’s what I am about to share, that pulls me through each and every day.

As I was starting to say before, faith has the power to provide hope, security, contentment and joy, if placed in the right thing. How is it possible to achieve peace and contentment without faith in something bigger than ourselves? I personally have placed my faith in God’s love, shown through His provision of grace and mercy through Jesus. Through all of my life experiences and difficulties, I have found this faith to be the only faith capable of pulling me through. I have tried to find meaning, purpose and fulfillment through perfectionism, gaining the approval and acceptance of others, being the person I think people want me to be, and receiving attention from the people around me. I have put every ounce of my being into making others happy and pleased with me, but have only found myself with greater insecurities and a more intense need to seek the approval of others. I honestly can’t say I have conquered this. But what I have found to bring me hope is that God loves us as we are. In fact, He created us the way we are on purpose! He loves us, and that should be enough.

I don’t know if you’ve ever felt trapped in this constant cycle of searching for meaning and purpose yet only feeling emptier inside, and then feeling forced to try harder. There is a way out. Faith in the One who created us in order to allow us to find this beautiful, mysterious, unimaginable peace and contentment is the only way I have found hope to escape my constant internal struggles. God places this desire inside of us for a reason- to point us to Himself. I hope that no matter what it is that you are using to ease your discontentment, you will give the love of God a try. I promise you it is the only means by which I have been able to find peace and meaning despite the chaos of this thing we call life. 

Look For Beauty in Everyone... It's There

“Beauty?... To me it is a word without sense because I do not know where its meaning comes from nor where it leads to.” ~Pablo Picasso

I was at an art museum this past week and noticed the women portrayed in the paintings from years ago. I started thinking… who determines what is beautiful? Think back to years ago, when overweight women were considered beautiful. How in the world did our society come to the conclusion that thin, emaciated females now hold the beauty we should all strive for? Furthermore, who decided that physical beauty equates with worth? God must have placed this constant yearning for something beautiful inside of us, but humanity has twisted it into an impossible quest to be fulfilled by obtaining this ever-changing sense of physical beauty.

Try this… take a few seconds to mentally disassociate beauty with external features. Completely rid your mind of this idea. Now. Think of the most beautiful person you know. If the beauty of the person you thought of was based on their physical characteristics, start over. Once you have this person in your mind, take note of the qualities that make this person beautiful. I’ll list the characteristics I thought of…

 Selfless/giving

 Uses her gifts and talents to point others to God

 Sensitive to others’ feelings

 Always smiling/ good sense of humor

 Seeks out those who need a friend and befriends them

 Encourages me all the time to be myself

 Doesn’t care what others think about her- is herself all the time

How do we begin to shift our mindset? I’m just as guilty as the next in basing my impression of someone on society’s interpretation of physical beauty. But how do we change? This is something I’ve been asking myself for a while. I’ve come to a few conclusions…

1.     If we intentionally seek out those who may be ‘less beautiful’ through our culture’s eyes, we will begin to see the beauty in the diversity of our world. I guarantee, if you look for the beauty in others, you will find it.

2.     It is possible to consciously push aside our externally focused thoughts of others and deliberately look for the internal beauty of others and ourselves.

3.      We need to stop focusing on the flaws and faults of others and work on our own hearts. We can’t change others. We CAN change ourselves.

We can’t force society to change. We can’t single handedly shift the mindset of our present culture. But we can make changes in ourselves to better the life of at least one person. I don’t know where the importance of physical beauty came from, but I do know that it will only lead us one of two places: either to empty, fleeting feelings of self worth that will not bring us contentment, or to a lifetime of insecurities and a lack of sense of purpose, value, and acceptance. Either way, we’re left without peace, joy, and contentment. We all desire to feel loved and beautiful, never deprive anyone of these God-given desires.