Lessons Learned

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”  -Douglas Adams

This past week was a little difficult for me. I spent several days watching patients deal with the consequences of years of indifference toward their health. I hated watching them face the pain of neglecting to take the necessary measures to avoid completely preventable complications. It broke my heart that these patients were in so much pain, but all I could think was, “How could you let yourself get this far?!” I was almost angry that they could value their body and health so little. I don’t know how to feel about this reaction I had, but I’ve given it a lot of thought. We all face the daily consequences of our actions, whether this is in regard to our health, relationships, careers, etc. Unfortunately, some consequences are more painful and visibly noticeable than others. Who am I to feel frustration with these individuals when I make poor choices for which I have to face the consequences of each day? All I can do is learn from their circumstances and strive to make healthy choices in regard to my physical body. After all, that’s the beauty of mistakes- the opportunity to learn and better one’s condition. 

With this said, what can we take from this? How is it possible for us to learn from and makes changes that stem from an awareness of another’s consequences? I think it is important to let this serve as a motivator for change. After seeing the excruciating pain one man endured because of a lifetime of poor diabetes control, I can guarantee you I am motivated to take the necessary precautions to avoid developing diabetes and encouraging those who have this condition to care for themselves. The sight of that poor man’s wound will forever be in my memory. I think it is important to intentionally take notice of the results of our own decisions and the decisions of others and use this knowledge to promote change in our own lives. Be aware of how one decision affects your own life and the lives of those around you and allow this to influence your actions.

Often times it is hard to be influenced by consequences that will result years, maybe decades down the road. We may say, “Oh it doesn’t matter if I _______, because I won’t have to deal with ________ immediately… I can deal with it later.” I’m so guilty of this! Take school work/projects, for example. I sometimes think, I’ll go out and have fun today and finish up the work tomorrow. But then tomorrow rolls around, and something else comes up. So I push back what needs to be done yet one more day. As I keep pushing back what needs to be done because it doesn’t conveniently fit into my schedule, I minimize the effort I will be capable of putting into this important project. We tend to prioritize our comfort and convenience over our health all in effort to make life easier for ourselves in the here in now. But, I’ve come to believe, a true sign of maturity is being able to see past your present comfort and possess self control in order to allow for a better future for yourself and your loved ones. I believe this relates to physical health and to the “mental” and “spiritual” health I’ve referred to in my past few blog postings.

My last thought in regard to this topic has to do with putting aside our foolish pride. Pride can be a huge hindrance to learning from ours and others’ mistakes. Think about it… by making a change we are admitting there is something about us that isn’t worthy of keeping the same. I hate to break it to you, but no one is perfect. Yes, that’s right, not even you. I have such a hard time with this. I try so hard to be perfect, but we just aren’t! We are human and we will make mistakes and poor choices. We have an entire lifetime ahead of us to make changes to become healthier individuals (in all aspects of health). You are never too old or too young to put aside your pride, look to the future, and use the consequences of past faults to better the coming years.

Developing the ability to learn from mistakes isn’t something that comes easily to us, for the reasons previously described. Unfortunately, this is the most effective means by which we are influenced. I’ve seen in my own life that many lessons my parents tried to teach me through verbal instruction, I haven’t been able to fully learn until experiencing the consequences for myself. We are each given one life and one opportunity to make the most of it… don’t neglect your physical, mental, and spiritual health for immediate satisfaction, or you may be the one providing the lesson for others. 

The Power of Your Words

Kind words do not cost much. They never blister the tongue or lips. They make other people good-natured. They also produce their own image on men's souls, and a beautiful image it is. -Blaise Pascal

I have been thinking a lot lately about the power we hold just because of the words we are able to say. I think we underestimate how much what we say (or sometimes, don’t say) can affect others in our lives. Words are such a fascinating concept. With a single word, an individual’s life can be changed. Of course it is the meaning behind the word that makes the difference, but that is all it takes. And that power is within us! Honestly this scares me. I often speak without thinking about what I am saying and how it may affect someone else. There are many situations when our words (or lack of words) get away from us. First, when we are angry. Now I keep mentioning lack of words. And this is because I am more the type of person who, when angry, will shut down and not say anything. Some people blow up and say everything, not me. This is a problem, when, I am angry or upset and should be there for someone else, but because I am upset, I won’t say the words they may need to hear. In this situation, my lack of words is affecting someone else. On the other hand, anger can bring about hurtful and upsetting words that can be just as devastating, if not more so. Another situation in which we may loose control of what we say is as a result of jealousy. Jealousy puts up within us a wall of defense in which we feel we have to protect ourselves from someone else’s successes. Why is it so hard for us to be happy for others who are given or achieve something we don’t? I will be the first to admit I have such a hard time with this. And when these situations arise, I have a hard time using my words to build that other person up. A third situation revolves around lies. Lies have the potential to ruin relationships, lives, reputations, and self-esteem. An untruthful word can hurt so much even if the lie is eventually accounted for.

I know this blog is supposed to be about health and healthy living. So why am I talking about words? I am coming to realize more and more the intensity in which our interactions with others affect our outlook on life. In my last posting I talked about the different aspect of health- including spiritual and mental in addition to physical. I question the importance of physical health without mental and spiritual health. If our own mental and spiritual health is significant to ourselves, then we can assume this is the case in others as well. And if our words have the potential to injure the spiritual and mental health of others, than we need to keep our words (or lack of words) in check. Wouldn’t you agree? Yet why do we, on a daily basis, say words that can hurt someone else? Even if said in a joking manner, these words are not aiming to benefit the other. I’m not saying don’t joke around and have fun. But be aware of the things you say and how they might make the other person feel.

If, then, our negative words have the power to influence someone in a negative manner, would it be accurate to assume our positive words can influence someone in a positive manner? This is obvious. You give someone an encouraging comment, and they are given a little bit of optimism for the day. I know several people in my life who are naturally good at this. Each time, after I finish talking to them, I walk away feeling uplifted and in a better mood. These people have had such a huge impact on my life through the kindness behind the words they share. I so desire to be this type of person, who uses every conversation to better the mental and spiritual health of another.

I don’t know if you’ve ever given a second thought to the power your words can have on the health of someone else. If not, I would encourage you to try to remind yourself on a regular basis to intentionally use the power of your words to generate a more healthy culture of people around you. 

The Spectrum of Health

Health is a large word.  It embraces not the body only, but the mind and spirit as well;... and not today's pain or pleasure alone, but the whole being and outlook of a man. 

-James H. West

We all want to be healthy. We read countless magazine articles on healthy living. Hey, you’re reading this blog on healthy and purposeful living! But when you think of the word “health”, what do you think of? Honestly, the first thing that comes to my mind is our physical health- proper diet, exercise, and the absence of sickness. Would you agree with me, though, that one could live the entirety of their life pursuing this idea of “health”, but still end up with the ills and infirmities of regrets, missed opportunities, and disappointments? If so, the pursuit of physical health will have been in vain. Don’t get me wrong; I am a huge advocate of healthy living in regard to our bodies. I truly believe proper diet and exercise are the best means by which we can take care of ourselves. But health is not made up of just one component. Our mind and spirit contribute as well. When we put all of our eggs in one basket and fail to acknowledge the whole spectrum of “health”, we cheat ourselves of living the most healthful life we can potentially live.

So what else contributes to our health? “Mind” and “spirit” are so vague- what does that even mean? If you have any input I’d love to hear it. But I’ll share with you my opinion. I think, and you can differ with me on this point if you’d like, that relationships are the #1 indicator of our non-physical health. Do you have good, strong, encouraging relationships in your life? This doesn’t have to be a significant other… do you have friends, family, etc. who support you and build you up? Do you feel that you are loved by the people you are surrounded by? I was asked this week if I internalized stress and if so, if I had an outlet for this stress. And to be truthful, I do internalize stress. I don’t like to acknowledge stress and I think if I pretend it’s not there then I won’t have to deal with it. But my response to the second part of the question was that I feel my true outlet for stress is the relationships that I have in my life. I am so thankful for the amazing family I have been blessed with and the role they play in my life. Without them, I would not be the person I am today. In addition to this, I have some pretty amazing friends who support me and encourage me, and I truly feel loved when I am around them. I know not everyone feels they have relationships like this. Although I have always had my strong relationship with my family, I have gone through periods in my life where I did not have many good friend relationships. It is extremely hard to remain mentally and spiritually “healthy” without this, at least for me. I encourage you to actively pursue relationships with others. Sometimes you have to put forth the effort to begin a relationship with someone, but I guarantee you it is worth it. Don’t let yourself neglect this needs for relationship… it is vital for a healthy life.

Another component to a healthy “mind” and “spirit” is having a purpose and passion. I can’t imagine what life would be like without feeling like it had any purpose or direction. What are you passionate about? What makes you feel like you are contributing to the world? I would advise you to take time to genuinely think about this. What issues in the world get you fired up and make you want to make a difference? Take this passion and put it into action! I’ll give you an example. Whenever I hear stories about individuals whose lives have been ruined because of problems that occurred during their childhood my heart breaks. I cannot stand to hear of childhood abuse- whether physical, emotional or verbal. Children are so vulnerable and influenced by what goes on around them, and the idea of a child growing up in an environment in which they do not feel secure or loved makes me feel sick. Because of this, I have decided to adopt my children, when the time comes, to spare these children from growing up in such an environment. My desire to work with individuals with eating disorders stems from this as well. I know it is not always the case, but I believe that many incidences of disordered eating come from dealing with a childhood environment without security, approval, or attention. All of this to say, intentionally seek out that which brings about a sense of purpose in your life and pursue this with your whole heart.

There are many other components to achieving the greatest health potential possible... laughter, sleep, relaxation, and many, many more. I have just mentioned the two most important- in my opinion. All the “health” (in regard to physical health) in the world will not bring contentment or true mental and spiritual health in the end. I’m not saying it’s ok to neglect the health of your body, but as I said earlier, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. True health is a balance of physical, mental and spiritual well being. Pursue all three with as much fervor as you see fit to live the healthiest life you can. 

Making a Change

“There’s no easy way out. If there were, I would have bought it. And believe me, it would be one of my favorite things!” -Oprah Winfrey

I always cringe when I see people intently looking at my name badge while I am at the hospital. I know they are going to ask me one of three things. 1. For directions, which I usually am not able to give. I do well to get myself to the places I need to be without getting lost. 2. If I am old enough to be working in the hospital. To which I smile politely and inwardly remind myself I will appreciate these comments when I am older. Or 3. For diet advice, because they see “nutrition services” on my badge. I really don’t mind this last one… I just wish I had longer than an elevator ride to listen to their stories.

This past week, as I was getting on the elevator, a woman asked me this ‘dietary advice’ question. She told me that she knew she needed to lose weight, but her doctor told her she needed to stop eating starchy foods and she just has such a hard time doing this.  Well of course she does! Who wouldn’t? I think one of the hardest things about working in the field of nutrition is finding the balance between scientific knowledge and reality. Science tells us that if we eat more fruits and vegetables and less candy bars, we will be able to consume more food with fewer calories and greater amounts of vitamins, minerals, fiber, etc. But here’s where the flip side of reality comes in… those candy bars are our favorite! When we get home from work, we are so stressed and eating that candy bar just helps us relax. We don’t want an apple, we want a Snickers! So maybe we put down the Snickers the first day of our “diet”. We are extremely motivated and it’s not too hard to grab the apple instead. And maybe this will work the next day, and the next, and maybe the next. But what about after that? We are already burnt out on this “healthy” stuff. We have had a really hard day, and the last thing we want is a piece of fruit. What we really want is that candy bar! What do you think will happen? You guessed it… the pear will stay on the counter and the candy bar will be gone. How often has this happened in our attempts to eat healthy? It’s no wonder yo-yo dieting and weight cycling are so common in our society. We try to make unrealistic changes to our lifestyles and we try to make these changes immediately. Unfortunately, there is no instant gratification in regard to living a healthy life. It’s not a one-time fix… it’s a constant effort to take care of the body you’ve been given.

There has to be a way to take our scientific knowledge of our metabolism and health and be able to make realistic changes in the way we treat our bodies. I think the way this happens is different for each individual. There is no trick that will work for everyone. We need to find our own motivation for change and make small changes over time. Unfortunately, since we live in this diet-crazed culture that seeks instant gratification in every aspect of our lives, including taking care of ourselves, it becomes engrained in our brains that we need to look good and look good now. We seem to be taught that making the effort to change our lifestyle will take too much time… instead, we need to take a weight loss pill or go on a diet that will help us lose 20 pounds in one week! (except you can only eat grapefruit). The only problem is, the most effective way to care for our bodies is not a one-time, easy fix. It means taking personal responsibility to care for the body you’ve been given.

So how do we make this change? How do we find the motivation, will, and drive to start treating our bodies the way we are supposed to? I believe there are a few ways that can help make this task a little less daunting. First, make small changes over time. I know I have a hard time with this. I like to set big goals for myself, which have nothing wrong in and of themselves.  But trying to tackle a whole mountain before you’ve even been able to get over a hill is probably not the best idea- you will only set yourself up for failure and discouragement. Start slow. Make changes you are willing to make and know you can make. Then, when you feel ready to start something else, do it. Unless your health is facing an immediate crisis, the key is to work slowly in order to ensure the changes you make will last. Next, find someone to keep you in check. If you try to do this on your own, it will be so easy to stray from your goals and pretend it didn’t happen. Also, it makes it a lot more enjoyable and comforting if you have someone to discuss struggles, temptations, and victories with. Lastly, reward yourself! Not with food, but with something that will be an extra motivator to succeed. I heard a patient once say that they were keeping track of every mile they walked and once they had walked the number of miles that would take them to Hawaii they would allow themselves to take a trip to Hawaii. It doesn’t have to be this expensive or elaborate, but designate short term and long term rewards for yourself.  

Making changes in your lifestyle is the best way to live a healthier life. Don’t try to find a quick fix when it comes to your health. You wouldn’t take your brand new car to the quickest, least expensive mechanic in town. You would take the time and resources to see someone who you were sure would take care of your car. How much more valuable is your own life? Make the effort to treat your own body the way you would your most prized possession. This is the only way a change will last.