Change Yourself, Change the World

“Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” 

-Leo Tolstoy

When you think of making a difference in the world, what do you see yourself doing? What type of person do you need to be to accomplish this? If you attempted to change the world right now, what would hold you back? It’s important to think about the things that hold us back in order for us to push them aside. I realize I may sound like I am contradicting myself from my previous posts. I know I say all the time that we need to avoid comparing ourselves to those around us. God made us the way we are for a reason. BUT. Are we perfect? I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’ll speak for myself and say that I am far from perfect. In order for me to be the best version of myself, there are many aspects of my life that need to change. Our potential to change the world is limited by our willingness to change ourselves. Our flaws, our imperfections, our fears, our failures, our insecurities, our weaknesses... these all serve a purpose in making us who we are. Our journey to overcome our weaknesses is what truly defines us. If we never address our fears, failures, and imperfections, how will we ever refine the person we have the potential to be? 

We are all unique and we need to embrace our individuality, but our differences may not necessarily be our inadequacies. It’s important to note that if we perceive the traits that make us unique as imperfection, we will never utilize our God-given gifts. So how do we tell the difference between what makes us who we are, and what is holding us back from becoming who God wants us to be? I believe one way to understand the difference is to look at what dictates our decisions. When we give our personal interest precedence over God’s desire for our lives, we fail to take full advantage of His provision for us. Have you ever felt that there was something you needed to do? You know that tugging on your heart that we so often ignore? I know I’ve had this happen before and I’ve justified ignoring it by saying “well that’s completely against my personality and God gave me this personality so I don’t think I need to do it...” My personal interest in this situation was my fear of stepping outside of my comfort zone, and this held me back from possibly impacting the world around me. When we are unwilling to change ourselves, we will fail to make the impact on the world that God has planned for us. So look at the different aspects of your life. Do these aspects of who you are serve to better the world around you? Or do they serve to better YOUR world? Do your actions, which reflect who you are, positively impact the lives of those around you? Or do they simply make you feel better about yourself? Change yourself- the inherent traits, present in all of us, which compel you to neglect the greater good- and I guarantee you will see changes in the world around you. 

Roadblocks to Health

“We must overcome the notion that we must be regular... it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.” -Uta Hagen

Today in church we were talking about the things that keep us from God- the things that prevent us from achieving our full capacity for spiritual health, if you will. I’ve been thinking about it, and the things that prevent me from growing closer to God also prevent me from achieving optimal mental, emotional, and physical health as well. There is one issue in particular, but it is not the only issue that I struggle with. I’ve mentioned it in many of my other blog posts, but I think (maybe incorrectly, so clarify if I am wrong), many other individuals have the same struggle. I tend to put my reputation- what I want people to think about me and the way other’s perceive me- above becoming the person God has created me to be. I so strongly long for the approval of others that I seek to be the person they want me to be instead of who God yearns for me to become. I compare who I am with who everyone else is. I find a talent or gift that someone else has and I try to take it on myself. Then, if I can’t, I accuse myself of not being as good of a person as they are. Does any one else do this, too? I tend to prioritize what the world advocates to be necessary in order to obtain perfection that God’s ultimate perfection ceases to be of any importance. I so struggle with looking to what everyone- friends, media, social influences- deems as beautiful that I neglect God’s hopes for me to achieve the beauty He intends for me, a beauty that will have far more of an effect on this world that any amount of physical beauty could ever have. When I allow it to, this one struggle consumes my thoughts and dictates my actions so that I begin to value acceptance over integrity, pleasing others over pleasing God, fleeting feelings of satisfaction over true mental, spiritual, emotional and physical health. 

This is just one area we allow to block the pathway between us and God- between us and achieving the fullest, most healthful lives we can possibly live. Take a look at your life. What do you prioritize? What do you use to measure the fullness of your life? What is standing in your way of becoming the person God has created you to be? What prevents you from pursuing your passions and seeking to find your purpose in life? Whatever it is for you personally, if you aren’t able to overcome it, it will undoubtedly serve as one of the biggest hinderances to achieving optimal health in your life. It may not necessarily be a bad thing, but whenever we give undue importance to the ultimately unimportant we will fail to become who we were created to be.  

Perceptions and Expectations

“You expect the worst, and you always get your way...” -Cold War Kids, Out of the Wilderness

Have you ever noticed how our expectations and the way we perceive our circumstances dictate how we experience life? For example... Let’s say you live in a very dry area and there has been little to no rain for the last few months, but a storm is starting to roll in. Now, if you are a farmer, and you hope for a good rain to support your crops,  you will rejoice at the very first rain drop. Now, let’s say it’s your wedding day and an outside wedding has been planned. The much needed rain will not be met with the same hopeful anticipation, will it? In fact, it will most likely bring about anxiety and disappointment. This rain, although it is needed in the grand scheme of things, can bring about hope and dismay at the same time, depending on our expectations and perceptions. In this situation, our expectations and perceptions will have no impact on whether or not the rain comes, but it will determine how we react to and grow from our experience. If the bride, whose plans for a beautiful outside wedding have been ruined, is able to see this rain as the answer to the farmer’s plans, it may ease the disappointment she feels. She will not have to dwell on these feelings for long, and will be able to move on to her back-up plan and enjoy her big day. If, however, she is not able to see past her own misfortune, she will spend her whole day wallowing in self pity and her memories from this special day will most likely be of a negative nature. Which day would you prefer to have? The difference between a good day and a bad day lies within your perception- how do you see your life experiences? Are you able to see how everything that happens to you can serve a purpose? Or are you unable to see past your own disappointment? 

Switching gears here, have you ever met someone who is always able to find something negative to point out about every situation? If you always look for the negative, you will find it, but what good does that serve? These people tend to be exhausting to spend much time around. If you are excited about something, they like to point out why you shouldn’t be. If you stumble upon a great idea, they enjoy explaining to you why it won’t work, or what could possibly go wrong. If you receive a piece of good news, they will be there to show you the downside to your circumstances. What can this do except discourage you? And if they are there to refer you to the negative side of everything, can you imagine how negative their own lives must be? If your first response is always to assess the situation, find any potential complication, limitation, or trouble, and then assume you will undoubtedly encounter this issue, I guarantee you will. Now hear me out... I’m not saying that you shouldn’t logically think through your life choices and circumstances. What I am saying is, the way you expect things to turn out and the way you perceive what cards you have been dealt will determine the level of contentment and enjoyment you will experience in life. 

We are only given one life. We can either choose to spend it in fear of what could possibly go wrong or upset over what has gone wrong, or we can enjoy each moment we are given. There will be times of heartache, disappointment, and tragedy that are inevitable. But the way we perceive life... our relationships, our successes and failures, our passions, our purpose... Our perceptions of these things dictate the fullness with which our lives are experienced. We can either choose to live a life filled with anxiety, sadness, discouragement, and an expectation for the worst, or our lives can be marked with optimism, contentment, growth and peace in the midst of chaos. I truly believe that what our lives our filled with will determine the extent to which we can achieve optimal health- spiritually, mentally, and physically. 

Accepting the Beauty in our Differences

If we can love ourselves in spite of our faults and foibles, and if we can accept our own weaknesses and wrongdoings, then why do we resist loving and accepting others because they do not meet our expectations?
-- David L. Weatherford

Have you ever met someone, spent time trying to get to know them, and then realized that there is just something about them that doesn’t quite mesh with who you are? Maybe their beliefs clash with your own, their personality doesn’t line up with yours, or their Type A mentality doesn’t bode well with your laid-back way of living. It can be very hard to coexist with individuals who are different than yourself. 

I talk a lot about accepting who God made you to be and learning to use your uniqueness to find your purpose, but how do we handle the individuality of those around us? Do we accept it? Or do we try to find ways to change the other person? If the qualities that make us different provide purpose and meaning for our own lives, shouldn’t we accept and even encourage the differences in others? Instead, we often complain, become agitated with, and discretely hint at the need for the individual to change their qualities that we perceive as bothersome. Granted, no one is perfect and we all have issues that we need to work on to become better versions of ourselves. What, though, would happen if we put our differences aside and not only attempted to see how our own lives can be used to better the world around us, but also tried to see how others in our lives can better the world? As I said, we so often try to change those around us, but what if we allowed them to be who they are created to be in order to fulfill a purpose in our own life? I believe an ultimate sign of maturity is first, being aware of the innate desire to feel needed and useful, which is present in everyone, and then, allowing and encouraging others to develop their own way in which to fulfill this desire. It’s one thing to tolerate differences, it’s another to wholly accept them. 

I do want to point out that you do not necessarily have to agree with or embody their actions, beliefs, or interactions with others. For example, I am an extremely non-confrontational individual. I HATE conflict. Honestly, that’s an understatement. This aspect of my personality can strongly clash with others who confront every single issue that goes against their sense of well-being. We all have different ways of interacting according to our personalities. But by accepting who they are, I don’t have to become who they are. I often feel that certain conflicts can be disregarded whereas someone else may strongly feel they need to be dealt with. This difference can be used to teach us both something. Me, how to be more assertive when the need arises, my friend, how to let go of an issue that need not escalate at this point in time. 

We need to begin to allow our differences, one of God’s most beautiful gifts to us (in my opinion), to help us reach our full potential as ourselves. We don’t need to try to be just like everyone else, but we need to learn from them and also support them in reaching their full potential as themselves. We can’t control everyone and we can’t change everyone. We can accept everyone and allow who we are created to be to help them become who they are created to be.